What if I told you the fear you have around money is the
hardest part of getting control of your finances? Sadly, there isn’t a
budgeting app to help you face the discomfort you have around money, but I’m
here today to break down WHY money is so scary for so many of us and how doing
nothing about it is actually making the situation much, much worse.
First of all: I HATE talking about money.
To this day I open my bank account with one eye open. It’s one of the last things I like to look at. This avoidance has cost me so much money in fees and mistaken charges and other oversights that I just kept putting off talking about money altogether.
Why is money scary??
We like to be comfortable. If you grew up having very uncomfortable and negative experiences around MONEY, you probably think money = bad.
Not having enough? Bad.
Having too much? Bad.
Caring about money? Bad.
Rich people? Bad.
My point is that opinions about money and your position in society are directly related to how your brain interprets danger and survival. It’s our access to safety, food, and potential partners, and it’s our ability to keep our family safe.
There are some very real financial problems and societal burdens that are placed upon people, and I don’t deny that. What I’m saying here is that we all have the ability to make positive changes to our financial outlook, and it begins with facing our financial fears.
How can we face our financial fears?
What I’m realizing is the more you avoid the thing that you fear, the greater the issues you’re facing become. And if you don’t know what you’re dealing with, you won’t be in a place to begin to solve any problems.
#1: get a handle on your numbers.
By taking an honest look at your financial situation and knowing your numbers inside and out, you can have a full grasp on the reality of the situation. It might not be comfortable at first, but the more you practice facing exactly where you’re at, the easier it will get and the more equipped you’ll be to approach any problem from an objective perspective rather than an emotional one.
#2: get to the root of your fears.
After you have a handle on your current financial state, examine what exactly about your finances makes you so uncomfortable. Ask yourself questions like:
The point is to actually answer these questions truthfully. Likely, there is some past trauma to uncover, memories you’ve repressed, or beliefs you hold that you learned from someone who influenced you as a child.
Maybe you fear financial success because your parents held negative beliefs about money and power. Maybe you feel like you’ll never have enough money because there was always a financial scarcity in your childhood. Maybe you have anxiety about finding yourself in a vulnerable financial position because of a devastating loss in your past.
Third, ask yourself, “How can I make those things less scary?”
Take your financial power back into your own hands by deciding what actionable steps you’ll take moving forward.
Instead of allowing the discomfort you feel about finances to derail you, accept it as something you might experience for a while, but not forever. The discomfort isn’t as uncomfortable when it’s something you know is temporary. The fear isn’t as all-encompassing when you know it’s something you have the power to overcome.