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How to Be Social at an Event When You’re Solo
2020-05-08 07:36:27

How to Be Social at an Event When You’re Solo

Entering a room that’s filled with strangers, without a friend or my S.O. by my side, instantly makes me want to crawl into a shell and call out sick from life.

The good news: a lot of people don’t really like going to social gatherings by themselves. We might have thoughts like: I have nothing interesting to share or those people seem more interesting/attractive/smart/etc. than me — why should I even bother? Allowing that negative voice to dictate our actions is never going to get us far. While we might feel safe, we’re preventing ourselves from meeting new people and exploring new opportunities. So to prevent our inner crabs from staying in their shells, here is the step-by-step guide on how to be social for your next event or party.


Right before…

 Step 1: Pump yourself up!

Pumping yourself up right before an event will help you break that negative self-talk cycle and stop yourself from wanting to cancel last-minute. Research has shown that repeating self-affirmations for positive self-statements can bolster and increase feelings self-worth.


Step 2: Be mindful

While you can easily worry about all the things that could go wrong, why don’t you think about all the things that could go right instead? Also completing a few mindful exercises like going for a walk, doing a small meditation practice, before you go to events will help you to break that anxiety-induced thought pattern and give you a non-judgmental vantage point.


Step 3: Take a deep breath

How we breathe can dictate everything we feel and think. And the slower we breathe, the more in-tune we can be to our thoughts and feelings. Consider taking some deep breaths before entering the event. 

Step 4: Set goals

Setting goals can be helpful when we are looking to actively stay social all night — maybe aim to meet five new people or have three meaningful conversations. It may sound contrived, but goals can help us stay on track (either to create deeper connections or keep us engaged for longer).



When you arrive…


Step 5: Make eye contact with others and stand in the center of the room

Did even the thought of doing this step freak you out? Yeah, me too. But while we wish everyone and their mom will approach us to start a conversation, this might not happen so easily when you’re far away from everyone in the room.


Step 6: Find a group that is open to having new company join them

Try standing next to a group of people who appear to be open to having others join the conversation. Once you notice there’s a small break in the discussion, try to wiggle yourself into the conversation. Say things like: “I couldn’t help but overhear that…” or ask, “Do you mind if I join you?” Then, once you’re in, feel free to introduce yourself. Say your name and what brought you to the event. Ask questions and listen to what others are telling you about themselves. Make eye contact and mirror their body language to show engagement in the conversation.


Step 7: Remind yourself that you being there alone is a positive thing

While it’s incredibly scary to go up to strangers and introduce yourself without a plus-one, you may be able to enjoy yourself more if you look at the positive side of your solo adventure. There are upsides to being at an event without a plus-one: you can navigate the room independently, you get to decide who to speak with and for how long. At the end, people and couples come to events and parties to socialize, so get to it!



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